Who's Rose?
by Aquabluerosetears123
Summary: "Rose?" He asked in a worried voice. "Who—who's Rose?" I asked softly. I had a feeling that I should know who he was talking about, but I didn't. Rose loses her memory after Lissa brings her back again. Getting her memory back may kill her. Set after VA.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy aor any of the Characters associated with it.**

**This is my first VA story on this account. The idea came to me and I had to write it.**

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

My head hurt.

"No, Rose please wake up," I heard a voice. "Please, don't leave me, come back." The voice was a female's voice. Whoever it was sounded so distraught. I wonder if this person was okay. "Wake up, it had to work." I felt someone taking me by the shoulders and shaking me.

I opened my eyes and regretted it immediately. There was a bright light shining right into my eyes. I blinked a couple times before my vision cleared. I heard someone gasp and the shaking stopped. The person who was talking earlier was leaning over me. She had long, silky platinum blonde hair and her pale green eyes were swimming in tears that poured down her pale cheeks.

Relief washed over her and she began to sob into my chest. I had no idea what to do. Should I comfort her? I don't even know who she is. I hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder.

"Roza," I heard another voice. It sounded odd, like it had an accent. I looked up from the crying girl to see a tall man walking over to us. He had a long brown coat on and I could see brown hair escaping from a ponytail at his neck. He must be talking to the crying girl.

The man knelt down next to us and I could now see he had deep brown eyes filled with concern. I was glad that the girl crying on me had someone to take care of her.

"Roza," The man said again, almost in a whisper. That's weird he is looking at me, not the crying girl. The man reached to me and cupped my face in his hands. I stiffened as he bent forward and kissed my forehead ever so gently. My eyes widened.

What the hell is going on?

The man pulled away and gave me curious look still holding my face in his hands. His eyes seemed to bore into me.

"Rose?" He asked in a worried voice.

"Who—who's Rose?" I asked softly. I had a feeling that I should know who he was talking about, but I didn't. The man froze looking at me. Then girl who was crying on my chest must have realized something was wrong and looked up. Her puffy eyes found mine. There was disbelief written on her face.

"Rose?" Her voice broke and I could practically feel her heart breaking. Guilt washed over her and she began bawling again. "No, I'm sorry. I messed up. My magic didn't work. I couldn't save you." She buried her face in her hands.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading and I promise to have chapter one up soon, if not later today.<strong>

**Please R&R! If you want me to read your story and leave a review let me know in the reviews.**


	2. Chapter 1

**Here is Chapter 1 just like promised. **

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><p><em>Dimitri<em>

"Roza," I said when I saw Rose's eyes open. Relief washed through me. She's alive.

When I saw the strigoi break her neck, I couldn't believe it. I'd seen her die once. That was enough, but to see her die a second time…

"Roza," I whispered and took her face in my hands. I pressed a kiss to her forehead. I can't believe it, Lissa brought her back again. Of course she'd be shadow-kissed again, but we could handle it. It was worth it if she was alive.

Something wasn't right. Rose had stiffened and I suddenly wondered if I hadn't killed all of the strigoi. No, I'd made sure they were all dead. What could it be then? I pulled away to looked at her and was stricken by her beauty for the millionth time. Everything was the same, her hair, her face, her body. She was alive. But as I looked in her eyes I could tell something was wrong.

"Rose?" I asked her and it seemed to take eternity for her to speak.

"Who—who's Rose?"

No. I must be dreaming. Rose would remember me. Just like I would always know her, she would know me. This had to be a joke. Rose is messing with me. Any second she'll smile and say "Got you, Comrade."

Lissa looked up. She had been crying into Rose's chest but now she was looking at Rose too.

"Rose?" Lissa's voice broke and she began crying again. Rose wouldn't joke with Lissa like this, not when she was so obviously on the edge. "No, I'm sorry. I messed up. My magic didn't work. I couldn't save you." She sobbed.

Could Spirit have healed her body, but left her soul behind? No, it was obviously Rose. Something could have gone wrong in the healing process. A sudden thought swam into my mind, what if Rose never remembered anything?

"What's going on?" Christian's voice called out to us from the door of the ballroom. I peeled my eyes from Rose to see him entering the room cautiously. Adrian and Jill followed him in with Eddie in tow. All of them froze when they saw the strigoi bodies scattered across the floor.

Adrian's gaze moved over to where I was knelt with Lissa and Rose. I could see his eyes shift as he looked at Rose, at her aura.

"I could feel the spirit," Adrian paused as he looked at Lissa who was now in the arms of Christian. "I didn't think we'd find this though."

"What happened?" Eddie asked in his picture perfect guardian way.

I took the scene in. The bodies, Lissa in tears, and Rose with a confused look on her face.

"I'll explain, but first let's get them out of here." I gestured to Rose and Lissa.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading. I will try to make Chapter 2 longer.<strong>

**Please review.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Thank you for reviewing! You guys are so awsome. I hope this chapter is good, and as promised, it's longer.**

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><p><em>Rose<em>

"You don't remember anything?" Asked a guy with green eyes. He smelled like smoke. He was leaning forward and looking me in the eyes as I sat on the couch in a room of a very expensive hotel.

"Should I remember something?" I asked slowly. The crying girl from earlier was sitting on the bed and a boy with black hair and bright blue eyes had an arm around her, trying to comfort her. I wonder if she's okay.

"Do you know my name?" The man who called me Roza asked. He was standing next to the smoke-smelling guy. I shook my head.

"Did the magic go wrong?" A boy with dirty blonde asked the Smoke Boy.

"No," Smoke Boy told him as he looked at me. I felt like a specimen under a microscope. "I can see her aura, it's back to the way it was when she was shadowkissed. The magic worked, this has to be something else."

"If it's not the magic what—"

"Will someone tell me what's going on?" I couldn't take it anymore. They kept talking about me like I wasn't there. "Who are you? What do you want with me?" Everyone in the room stared at me. I looked from face to face, seeing strangers, and waiting for someone to answer me. Finally the man with the long coat took a deep breath.

"I'm Dimitri," He said with his accented voice. "This is Adrian," He gestured to Smoke Boy, "Eddie," The boy with dirty blonde hair nodded towards me, "Jill," the shy looking girl with red hair, "Over there is Christian, and Liss—"

My world shifted all of a sudden. One second I was sitting on the couch, and the next I was on the bed next to the boy Dimitri had called Christian.

"She knows who I am!" I shouted. No that wasn't my voice, it was the crying girl's voice. I shot up off the bed and ran over to where the others were except there was one more person than there should be. Where I had sat previously was a girl with hair so dark it was almost black. "Rose, tell them. Tell them you know who I am."

The voice was coming out of my mouth. What's going on? I didn't say that. I don't even have control of my own body. Wait; was that me sitting on the couch? If so, then am I inside the crying girl?

"Lissa," Christian put a hand on the crying girl's arm. So that's her name, Lissa.

"Rose, please," Lissa cried out to the me sitting on the couch. "We're best friends. More than that, you're like my sister." Lissa wasn't thinking straight. Even I could tell and I just met her. "You can feel me, I know you can. We're bonded. Just like before, you could reach out and go in my mind." That was all she could get out before she choked on more tears.

Then something was shaking me. Not the me in Lissa's head, but the me sitting on the couch. I blinked and I was back in my body. Lissa was on her knees on the floor with tears coming from her eyes again, only this time I could feel her sadness, her despair. She blamed herself for this, whatever this was.

Dimitri said something in a different language. Maybe it was Russian. "It's the darkness." He watched as Christian tried to get Lissa back to the bed again. "When she healed Rose she must have used too much spirit." He glanced at Adrian.

"I can make a charm, can't say how much it will help though." Adrian moved into the bedroom part of the Hotel room and took something shinny from the bedside table.

"What's going on?" I asked again. "Is she going to be okay?" I felt the strongest urge to help her.

"Come on Rose," Dimitri said and offered me a hand. Was I Rose? "I'll explain everything, but it's probably better if we talk somewhere else for a little while."

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><p><em>Jill<em>

I watched as Adrian handed Christian the necklace that he had just charmed. Through Adrian's eyes, I watched the darkness in Lissa's golden aura fade slightly. As the darkness faded, Lissa slowly calmed down. Instead of sobbing she was simply staring at nothing in particular with tears flowing down her perfect cheeks.

"That helped a little," Adrian sighed. "I don't know how well it will work, so she shouldn't be alone for a while." Adrian went over to the couch and plopped down.

"What are we going to do?" I asked no one in particular. The question hung in the air for what seemed like forever.

"We wait for Belikov to come back with Rose." Adrian said as he reached for his shirt pocket where he normally kept his cigarettes then seemed to decide against it at the last second.

I was worried about Rose and Lissa. Rose was so strong, it was impossible to think she died just like me. Well I guess that's not true, she died three times now. Maybe that's what is happening now. Maybe a person can't become shadowkissed twice?

Eddie patted my hand reassuringly. I gave him a smile. "Rose is there," he said. "She even yelled at us for talking about like she wasn't there." I could see the glimmer of hope in his eyes. Maybe he was right.

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><p><em>Rose<em>

"So you're telling me I died?"

"Yes," Dimitri told me with an unwavering gaze.

"How?" I asked. This was crazy. People didn't come back from the dead, did they?

"You stepped in front of a strigoi that was heading for Lissa." Dimitri's Russian accent answered me. "I don't know what happened next, I was fighting a strigoi of my own. I heard Lissa scream and when I looked over, you were on the ground."

I listened to his explanation, but didn't understand. "What are strigoi?"

"There are two races of vampires, one that is alive, and one that is dead." Dimitri had a faraway look in his eyes. "The vampires that are alive are called moroi and the dead ones are strigoi. They both drink blood, but the moroi don't kill their victims like the strigoi." He continued. "Strigoi are evil and soul less."

"They are dead?" I could feel a shiver run down my spine. "Like me?"

"No," the distant look in his eyes disappeared instantly. "No, you are a dhampir" Before I could ask what a dhampir was he continued. "Dhampirs are half moroi, half human. We get humans strength and durability, and the moroi health. Dhampirs almost always become guardians who vow protect moroi from strigoi."

I looked away from his gaze, I couldn't take it at that moment. This was so much to take in. I swallowed and took a breath before asking another question.

"I heard Lissa and Adrian talking about magic and spirit," I wasn't even sure if it was important. Dimitri nodded.

"All moroi have magic. They can control one of four physical elements, or the fifth element." The physical elements are water, fire, earth, and air. Christian is a fire user, and Jill is a water user. The fifth element is spirit. Both Adrian and Lissa are spirit users."

"What does spirit do?" I asked before I could stop myself. I could guess that the other four elements were what they sounded like, but spirit sounded odd.

"This is where it gets complicated," Dimitri paused.

"Now it gets complicated?" I asked him. "What would you call the other stuff?" I guess he thought what I said was funny because his lips quirked up a little at the corners. Then as soon as it had appeared, it disappeared and he continued with his explanation.

"We still don't know the full reaches of spirit because there are so few spirit users. What we do know is that spirit users can heal, and have a wide range of psychic powers. They can see auras, which are bands of light around people. They can compel anyone to do anything the spirit user wants."

"So you're saying that Lissa and Adrian are psychic?" I asked him. He may be beautiful, but if he was telling me the truth, I might have to hit him.

"To a certain extent, they are." The hint of a smile was back and his eyes seemed to light up with it, then again it was gone.

"You said earlier, when Lissa was crying, that it was the darkness?"

"Yes, Spirit can do amazing things, but not without a toll. When a spirit user uses his or her magic, they use a piece of their soul, which is light. What is left behind is darkness. That darkness can cause depression and insanity."

"So why was the darkness affecting Lissa?" I asked another question. At this point I was starving for information, even if these people might be certifiably insane.

"Lissa healed you," Dimitri told me. "She brought you back."

I waited for the punch line, but it didn't come. "From the dead?" I asked but Dimitri's eyes stayed serious. "She resurrected me?"

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><p><strong>It's everyone's lucky day because I dont have classes on fridays so I was able to stay up late and write.<strong>

**Let me know what you think.**

**Please review!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Thank you again for the support guys! I realy enjoy reading reviews. They make my day.**

**Here is chapter 3**

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><p><em>Dimitri<em>

"She resurrected me?" Rose asked me. I could tell she was waiting for me to tell her I was joking. I wished I were.

"This isn't the first time." I told her and her eyes widened questioningly. "You died before. When you and Lissa were younger, her parents, older brother, and you died in a car accident. Lissa brought you back." Talking about Rose dying nearly killed me. "The second time you died was when you stepped in front of a bullet that was going to hit Lissa. It hit you in the heart and you died. Somehow, you healed yourself, and came back again."

"I died three times?" Rose gave me a look like I was crazy. It was so much like her, yet she didn't remember anything. She didn't remember me…

"Okay," Rose went on. "What happened in there? I was _in_ Lissa. In her mind."

"That's part of the bond."

"Lissa said something about that," Rose thought back. "About us being bonded?"

"Yes," I never once thought I would be explaining this to her. She has once been the one explaining Spirit and the bond to me. "When a spirit user brings someone back to life, that person bonded to them and becomes Shadowkissed."

"Shadowkissed?" Rose was curious, and had to know all the answers, just like before. She was still there, she had to be. I at least owed it to her to try to find her somewhere in there. She did the same for me.

"Shadowkissed is a fancy way of saying you died. When you died you were in the world of the dead, but Lissa bringing you back took you away from there. You will always have a link to the world of the dead, and Spirit users say they can see shadows in your aura." I tried to form the words in a way that wouldn't scare her. "Jill is Shadowkissed too, she's bonded to Adrian."

As I watched Rose think through everything it pulled at my heart. My Roza couldn't remember me. Was this how she felt when I was a strigoi?

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><p><em>Lissa<em>

I don't understand. I thought I healed her. She should be back to normal.

I messed up, and now my best friend wasn't there.

She had always been there for me. She had fought to protect me since as long as I can remember. She even died for me, twice. I should have been the one to die. If I had, Rose would still be herself. It doesn't even matter that I'm the queen. There were better people out there. They could take my place…

_Rose ,what am I going to do without you?_

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><p><em>Rose<em>

_Rose, what am I going to do without you?_ I heard Lissa's voice.

"Lissa?" I asked aloud. Maybe Lissa had come out into the hall and I hadn't noticed.

"Is she okay?" Dimitri suddenly became alert.

"How am I supposed to know?" I asked him.

"You can reach out and feel her." Dimitri told me. "Try it. Just open yourself up to her." I've heard plenty of crazy things today, why should this be any different?

I closed my eyes and took a breath. I thought about Lissa. How she was leaning over me when I opened my eyes. Now I know she actually brought me back to life. She looked so relieved when I opened my eyes. She was some type of angel.

The next thing I knew I was curled up on the bed in the hotel room. No, this was Lissa. I was in her head.

Lissa was lying on the bed. Her eyes felt puffy and her cheeks were raw from where the tears had dried. She wasn't crying anymore which was good, but she was still upset. I could feel the hurt. It was almost as if she hurt so much that crying no longer worked.

Her thoughts floated around and it was hard to get a grasp on any of them. I did catch wisps though. All of the wisps had me in them, or well, the Rose she knew.

I could feel her pain. And it was all because of me. All because I didn't remember anything that the others thought I should. Even if I didn't know any of them, I didn't want to hurt them.

"Rose?" Dimitri's voice pulled me back to myself and I saw him leaning forward with a concerned look. His hand was on my shoulder. "Is everything okay?" He asked me before he wiped a tear from my cheek with his other hand.

"She's hurting because I can remember anything," I told him. His eyes softened as he looked at me. Were Rose and him friends? I don't know. I didn't know anything. Dimitri knew everything though. He could help me. "Will you help me remember? So I can make her pain stop?"

"Of course Roza," He wiped another tear away from my cheek.

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><p><em>Eddie<em>

Christian was sitting next to Lissa on the bed. She had stopped crying but obviously, she wasn't okay. Christian looked so helpless as he stroked her hair away from her face.

Christian might come off abrasive to some people, but he was a good guy. I might not remember much of what happened in Spokane, but I did remember seeing him and Rose at the strip mall before we were captured. Both of them had been worried about us.

Thinking of that brought back the memories of losing Mason. No, I can't think about that right now. There are more serious things to think about right now, but what would Mason do if he was here?

The door to the hotel room opened beside me. Dimitri came in followed by Rose. A part of me hoped to see happiness on his face, like he had managed to get Rose to remember, but he had the same stoic look. Rose's eyebrows were furrowed as if she was deep in thought, There was a determined look in her eyes. That look reminded me of the old Rose. Always fighting, even if she didn't remember anything.

Dimitri gave Rose an encouraging look and Rose walked over to the bed where Lissa and Christian were. Christian looked at her with curiosity, obviously hoping the same thing all of us were.

"Can I talk to her?" Rose asked and Christian hesitantly got off the bed so Rose could take his place. I quickly looked around the room, and everyone had curious expressions on their faces. "Lissa," Rose began.

"Rose?" Lissa's eyes found Rose and tears started to escape again. "I'm sorry Rose; I shouldn't have let you die for me. My magic doesn't work anymore." Rose was struggling, but I don't think Lissa saw it.

"Liss," Rose used her nickname for Lissa, but I don't think it was because she had remembered. "It's not your fault. Your… your magic worked. I'm alive. And I'm going to try to remember who Rose was." Lissa sat up and put her arms around Rose. Rose awkwardly patted her back and Lissa cried into her shoulder.

Rose looked over to the rest of us. There wasn't recognition in her brown eyes, but there was strength. The same strength she always had. No matter what chaos she faced, she was always strong, always brave. This was just another chaotic thing to face. I had faith that she would be to come out of this, it just might take a while.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading and please review! I'll update when I get some more reviews, until then, Happy reading.<strong>


	5. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews! I really love reading them.**

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><p><em>Rose<em>

Lissa fell asleep after a while and I let Christian take my place beside her. He cared about her. I could tell.

Everyone else in the room had dispersed to their separate rooms, all except Dimitri who was standing next to the door. I took a second to look at him. He was tall. He still had the long coat on, even though it wasn't cold. He looked strong. Like someone you could count on no matter what.

Dimitri looked over at me then. There was a flutter in my chest. What was that?

"I'm Christian's guardian, and you're one of Lissa's guardians." Dimitri kept his voice soft so he didn't wake up Lissa.

"_One_ of her guardians?" I matched his tone.

"I'll explain in a few moments, but right now you are going to have to act like everything is okay." What he said confused me, but before I could ask another question, he seemed to read it on my face. "Our replacements are coming, and until we figure this out we should keep it to ourselves." Just then there was a knock at the door. Dimitri looked through the peephole and opened the door.

"Guardian Belikov, Guardian Hathaway." A man said as he walked into the room. A second man followed him in and Dimitri greeted them before he looked at me and held the door open. I took the hint that it was time to leave and went into the hall. The door closed and Dimitri stood next to me. I noticed how short I was in comparison.

I followed Dimitri down the hall a ways to a door identical to all the others. He pulled out a card from his pocket and swiped it through the reader on the door. The inside was a mirror image of the room we were in before. Except there were two suitcases on the bed. I walked over to them and saw that they were both still closed; whoever was staying here hadn't have time to unpack.

"The one on the right is yours." I glanced over to see Dimitri watching me. Was he waiting for me to open the suitcase? I have to admit I'm curious about what's inside. What type of things had the Rose he knew packed? Would something inside it make me get my memory back?

I unzipped the suitcase and looked inside. There were cloths folded inside. I saw jeans and t-shirts, some tank tops and of course underwear. There was also a pile of black fabric. I picked it up and found that it was what appeared to be a suit and a white blouse. Did Rose wear this?

"Guardian's wear those for formal events," Dimitri explained as I lifted up the jacket to inspect it. Rose was a guardian, whatever that means. A red pin on the collar caught my eye and I touched it. "Only the queen's personal guardians have those."

"Queen?"

"The queen is the head of our government." Dimitri told me, taking a few steps in my direction.

"You said I was Lissa's guardian, so that means she's the queen?" Dimitri nodded. I thought about Lissa. She must be important.

"Everyone must rely on Rose for a lot," I thought aloud, and I immediately wish I hadn't. Dimitri looked away and I could see lines of pain etched into his face, but I could also see he was trying not to show it. Did I say something wrong?

Then I realized that I'd talked about Rose like I wasn't her.

"I mean me," I tried to cover up my misstep. "They rely on me for a lot." The damage was done however.

"You should get some sleep, you've had a long day." What he said sounded final. There was no way to fix what I had said. "I'll take the couch."

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><p><em>Dimitri<em>

Rose was asleep and I sat on the couch. I wish I could hold her. Maybe she'd remember me then. But she would just get scared again. I sighed and put my head in my hands.

We had been on our way to St. Vladimir's for a dinner. Lissa was going to make a speech. Since Christian was going with her, I came. Adrian always followed, so Jill and Eddie came.

People would realize Rose wasn't herself, especially her mother. She was supposed to be there for the dinner with the moroi she guarded. And knowing Abe, he'd probably show up at our door in the morning waiting to go to breakfast.

How were we going to get out of this one?

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><p><em>Rose<em>

I was back in the ballroom of the hotel. Strange. I don't remember coming here. Of course, that doesn't mean anything since I can't remember who I am.

The ballroom no longer had the bodies from earlier. Now I knew what they were. Dimitri had said they were strigoi, evil vampires.

"Little dhampir?" A voice spoke from behind me. I turned to see Adrian standing against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

"Huh?" I was confused, was he talking to me?

"I guess you still don't remember," He sounded disappointed. Great, another person I'm upsetting. "I was hoping that you might remember things while you're asleep."

"I'm not asleep," I told him. "I'm awake."

"Oh, right you don't remember," He said. "This is a spirit dream. You're actually asleep, I'm just visiting your mind." I nodded slowly. Just when I though spirit couldn't get weirder, I'm visited in my dreams by a psychic guy.

"Why did you think I'd remember while I'm asleep?" I asked him. He seemed real enough, but I guess if I was dreaming things would seem real.

"I don't know Rose," Adrian started inspecting the wallpaper. "Maybe I was hoping that your subconscious would remember." I watched as he touched the wall and the paper on it changed from gold to red. He looked at me and smiled slightly. "I control the dream."

"Is this a spirit power?"

"Yeah, I would've though Belikov gave you the crash course on spirit," Adrian's eyes shifted slightly.

"Dimitri told me about spirit, but not about how you can dream walk." I sighed. This is so hard. I don't know anything about myself. The first thing I remember is waking up after Lissa saved me.

"Do you mind if I try something?" Adrian asked with a curious expression. I shrugged. What harm could he do? Make me forget today?

Adrian reached a hand towards my forehead and lightly touched his figures to my skin. I felt hot rush over me, then cold, and hot again. What was that?

"Rose?" Adrian asked after he pulled his hand away.

"Yeah?" I was confused, had he just tried to heal me?

"Do you remember anything?" There was hope in his eyes. I felt bad again and shook my head. "Damn, I thought it would work."

"I'm sorry," I don't think I could do anything right.

"I'll think some more and come up with something." He took a few steps away then turned back, pacing.

"I'm hurting everyone aren't I?" I asked him. I seemed to only be asking questions. "First I didn't remember Lissa, then Dimitri, and now you." Who am I? Did Rose hurt people like I do? Of course not, everyone loved her.

"You're not hurting us, we just care about you too much," Adrian said and the world seemed to fade. I woke up lying in the bed of the hotel room. I sat up and looked over to the couch where I expected to see Dimitri lying. He wasn't there. Panic ran through me. Did he leave because I didn't remember him?

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><p><strong>Well that's it for now. I'll try to update again soon. (If I get more reviews it might make me update faster ;) )<strong>

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 5

**WOW! Thanks for all the support! I stayed offline for a day and a half to work on homework and to write this chapter and when I checked my email a few minutes ago, I found 15 new emails from fanfiction! I am extatic that you all like this story so much, I hope I can make it up to par.**

**Here is Chapter 5!**

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><p><em>Rose<em>

I climbed out of the bed that was way too big for one person and slowly walked over to the couch. There was a blanket laying on it, but no Dimitri. I turned and looked around the room; everything was dark except for a tiny sliver under the bathroom door.

I breathed a sigh of relief. He was still here, he hadn't left. I don't know why losing him scared me so much, I just met him. I leaned against the couch and looked down at my bare feet. He must have been important to Rose.

The bathroom door opened spreading light over me. Dimitri took a few steps out and froze when he saw me. His hair was dripping and his chest was bare, he probably just got out of the shower.

Something tickled my thoughts. Like there was something there, but I couldn't grasp it. It had something to do with Dimitri. Dimitri with wet hair. Just as quickly as the feeling came, it was gone.

"Rose, did I wake you?" Dimitri asked me as he walked over to where his suitcase was laying. He opened it and pulled out a gray T-shirt.

"No, you didn't wake me up." I watched as he pulled the shirt on.

"You should shower," Dimitri said. "We'll be meeting with the others soon."

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><p><em>Christian<em>

I hadn't been able to sleep last night. Not with everything on my mind. Lissa has brought Rose back again, that had made Lissa susceptible to the darkness. This time it was depression, who knows what could happen next time. Maybe she'd have a streak of insanity again. Just the thought of that sent shivers down my spine.

Lissa stirred and opened her eyes sleepily. She looked around and found me.

"Where's Rose?" She asked. It made sense that she would be worried about her.

"She's with Dimitri," I told her and stroked her cheek. "She'll be back in a little while.

"Does she... does she remember?" Her eyes pleaded with me.

"No, but we're going to work on it." I told her gently. "Rose said she's going to try everything to remember for you." She sighed and felt the silver necklace around her neck.

"I can feel the magic, it's helping a little." She said, trying to be strong. This was going to be difficult.

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><p><em>Dimitri<em>

I could swear when I saw Rose standing outside the bathroom she remembered me. There had been a light in her eyes, like a memory was playing itself out on her mind, then it was gone.

If I hadn't imagined it, that meant her memory was just below the surface. Maybe if we help her, she'll remember. What if I did something that could spark a memory? Then it would all fall into place like a chain reaction.

I wanted her to remember me, I _needed_ her to remember me. She didn't stop trying to find a way to save me when I was a strigoi, I won't stop looking for a way to help her.

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><p><em>Adrian<em>

Abe stood outside Lissa's door as I came around the corner. Figures he'd be here. Our insanity party wouldn't be complete without him. He had a sixth sense for this kind of thing. Honestly I can't say I feel bad for Dimitri having him as a father-in-law, or as close to one as he'll have considering I can't see either him or Rose getting married.

Abe must have sensed me, or saw me from the corner of his eye because his head turned towards me. He had a three piece suit on with a neon green vest and tie that matched his pocket scarf. I wish I could pull off the outrageous fashion he always seemed to wear.

"You couldn't have picked a worse time to show up," I told him when I made it down the hall. There was a glint in his eyes like he knew already. "I'm not going to explain though, for that you'll have to talk to Belikov."

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><p><em>Rose<em>

I turned the pendant around in my fingers. I'd taken it off before I took a shower. It was circular and had different shades of blue varying in circles. It was weird, but pretty. I slid the chain back around my neck letting the pendant hang where it had before my shower. A beaded bracelet was already round around my wrist like before. It had a cross with a dragon on it. I had chosen one of the pairs of jeans and a T-shirt from the suitcase that apparently belonged to me.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror again. I was clothed, but I remembered looking at the scar over my heart. My hair was long and almost black; my face was pretty with eyes almost as dark as my hair. As I combed my hair out I noticed something on the back of my neck. Had I missed dirt or something?

I turned, lifting my hair, so that I could inspect my neck and was shocked at what I found. There were black marks, like tattoos covering almost all the skin there. There were a majority of little jagged X's, so many I could hardly count them. There was an S shaped mark in the middle of all the other marks, and one mark that looked like a fancy star. What the hell?

I finished in the bathroom and went back into the room. Dimitri was leaning against the window frame, looking out.

"Dimitri?" He turned and gave me a questioning look, obviously knowing I had a question. "There are tattoos on my neck, why?"

"Those are guardian tattoos," He turned his head and brushed aside his long brown hair to reveal that he had marks similar to the ones on my neck. "The S shaped on is the promise mark. Guardians receive them at graduation when they vow to protect moroi with their lives. The lightning bolt X's are molnija marks. They count how many strigoi a guardian has killed. The zveda means that the guardian was in a large battle with strigoi and there were too many kills to count."

I touched the back of my neck. They counted Strigoi kills? Rose must have been a good guardian, even Dimitri didn't have as many marks as Rose.

_Me_, I corrected myself. If I was going to try to remember Rose, or pretend to be here, I should at least start thinking of us as the same person.

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><p><em>Dimitri<em>

I was not expecting Adrian to be about to knock on our door, but the bigger surprise was Abe.

"Belikov," Abe said in a nonchalant fashion even though his eyes held their usual suspicion. Honestly, it was a toss-up for which parent gave Rose the most genes.

"Rose, you and Adrian can go see Lissa," I told Rose. "We'll be there in a few minutes." I expected Rose to complain about having to go, but instead she just kept giving Abe confused looks over her shoulder as she walked down the hall with Adrian.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm just wondering what you guys think will happen when Abe finds out about the memory loss, or what about Janine?<strong>

**Thanks again!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Thank you for the reviews on the last Chapter.**

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><p><em>Dimitri<em>

"So she has amnesia," Abe had that scheming glint in his eyes when he spoke.

"As far as we can tell," I answered him. "Rose is still there, something just went wrong and she can't remember anything." I'm not sure whether I was surprised with his reaction or not. He had calmly taken everything in and started asking questions immediately.

"Lissa or Adrian could compel her to remember." Abe thought.

"We could try that, but I don't think it's something she can reach." I crossed my arms. "Earlier I thought she might remember something, I could see it in her eyes, and then it was gone. I think the harder she tried to remember the farther the memory escapes."

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><p><em>Lissa<em>

I wasn't sure what to do when Rose walked into the room. I felt calmer than yesterday, but I wasn't sure how long Adrian's charm would keep me that way.

"Where's Dimitri?" Christian asked them.

"He had to handle a new issue," Adrian told him as he walked over to the armchair where he plopped down.

"What issue?" I asked carefully. What could be more important that my best friend's memory?

"Abe," He pulled a cigarette from his pocket.

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><p><em>Rose<em>

Everyone's faces showed the same emotion. Whoever this Abe was, he made them uncomfortable. I on the other hand, had no idea who he was. He looked only slightly scary; he mostly looked ridiculous in his green and black suit, gold earrings, and gold chains. I guess it's time to get to the bottom of who he was.

"Who's Abe?" I asked just as Eddie and Jill came into the room. Their faces matched the other's when they heard my question. Nobody answered me and I started to get angry. "Who's Abe?" I asked again, only louder.

"Abe is your dad," Lissa answered me finally.

"You can't be serious," I said in disbelief. That man with the gold earrings is my dad? I looked at everyone's faces and saw confirmation. I was saved from making a comment on that when Dimitri and Abe walked in.

They both seemed to notice the unease in the room almost immediately.

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><p><em>Lissa<em>

"We came up with an idea that could work," Dimitri explained about the plan to compel Rose to remember. The more I thought about it the more it made sense. This could work.

"I'll try," Adrian said standing up. He was going to compel Rose.

"No," I stood up too and everyone's eyes were on me. "Let me do it. With the bond it will be stronger, and if we're going to try this, I want the best chance for it to work."

"We're forgetting something," Eddie spoke up. "It should be up to Rose if you compel her."

Of course, how could I be so thoughtless. Rose should have a choice in the matter. Compulsion is wrong to use against someone.

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><p><em>Rose<em>

The more I looked at the faces of these people the more I wished I remembered them. They all love and care for me, even though I can't remember them. If having Lissa compel me could help me remember them then I would let her.

"You can compel me," I told Lissa and she gave me a small smile. I was aware of everyone watching as she took a few steps to me.

I looked into her eyes and I felt something wash over me.

"Rose," Lissa's voice was magical. "Remember me. Reach into your mind and remember." I wanted to remember. I had to remember. I did what she told me to, I tried to grasp onto the wisps of thought that were barely there, but the harder I tried it didn't work.

Lissa looked away and the spell broke.

"Did it work?" Abe asked me. I looked at him and still didn't remember him. I shook my head.

"I don't remember," I told them. I knew they were upset, but I could feel Lissa's pain. "I'm sorry Liss."

The only thing that had changed was that now I wanted to remember even more. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but the longer I forgot them, the more I'd hurt them. I thought about earlier when I had almost grasped that memory of Dimitri. If I could just remember something, anything.

"We have to leave soon," Eddie told everyone, breaking the silence.

"Eddie's right," Lissa agreed. "Everyone at St. Vladimir's will be expecting us."

St. Vladimir's?

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><p><em>Adrian<em>

Car trips haven't always been my favorite things, especially when I have to sit next to Dimitri. He was driving, Jill, Eddie, and Christian sat two rows back in the van with two of Lissa's guardians in the back seat. Lissa, Rose, and Abe sat behind Dimitri and I.

Okay this car trip wasn't so bad, it could have been worse. At least I have some time to come up with another solution. If healing and compulsion don't work then what could?

You know, we could use one of Rose's insane plans right about now; one of those plans that have no way to work, but always seem to go exactly as she planed.

Why am I trying to help her? She never wanted to be with me when we were together. She only wanted Dimitri, even when he was strigoi. But she was following her heart, something I only learned about. I started listening to my heart when I met Sage. I wouldn't have had met her if Rose hadn't hurt me.

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><p><em>Lissa<em>

As we drove closer to St. Vladimir's, I thought about all the time spent here. I had memories here. If I had memories here, then Rose did too. Maybe being surrounded by memories could help her.

Right now, I had to be the queen. This is the first time I've returned to St. Vladimir's since graduation. I couldn't visit when someone was trying to kill me and Jill.

I spotted the front gate of the school through the windshield. Here we go.

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><p><em>Rose<em>

I had the feeling like I should remember this place, but I didn't. I glanced at Dimitri's face and I could tell he was in deep thought. Had this school been a happy place, or a sad place?

Whatever happened here, I hope it helps me remember something. Anything.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading. Next Chapter will be really good, I promise. Maybe I'll even throw in a fight, but I wont tell you if its the good kind or the bad kind. Untill then, happy reading.<strong>


	8. Chapter 7

**Thank you for the reviews! I'm amazed at how loved this story is so far! I do want to appologize for the last chapter, it was a little difficult to write. But this chapter I enjoyed writing. =) **

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><p><em>Rose<em>

Everyone in our group was given our own rooms, so that we could get ready for the dinner in a few hours. It was nice of the school to give us guest rooms, but I didn't want to sit around. I wanted to be doing something that could help me remember. I was in this school, somewhere I had apparently spent a lot of time, and here I was locked up in a room.

Or was I? Nobody was babysitting me, I could find some clues to my past without worrying the others. I wouldn't hurt anyone if I didn't remember anything, and if I did remember, well, that was good.

I opened the door and looked down both ends of the hall. No one, so I closed the door behind me and headed out side. It was dark, but I had no problem seeing, I guess that was one of the dhampir qualities. I looked around, and found myself lost. Figures.

There were buildings everywhere that all looked the same to me. All the same Gothic feel. After a few minutes of walking around, I found a quod with buildings surrounding it on every side. There were a few people walking across the quod and going into different buildings. I didn't feel like walking into any of them, so I followed a path between buildings.

I found myself heading away from the buildings and towards trees. The smart thing to do would be to turn around and go into one of those buildings, but I kept walking into the trees. I wasn't sure where I was heading, I just let my feet take me farther away from the buildings.

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><p><em>Dimitri<em>

I felt trapped. Even reading wasn't helping. When we arrived it felt like everyone was watching me, waiting for me to slip up and go on a killing spree. I realize that it wasn't that long ago that I was strigoi, but I'm not anymore.

If I felt trapped, I wonder how Rose is feeling.

Rose. How could she forget me? We love each other. Sonya said that our souls are meant to be together. How could she forget that? After everything we went through to be together, she still has to feel that connection.

What if I could spark those feelings the same way they originally came up? We _are_ at St. Vladimir's… I could use the excuse that she needs to be able to protect Lissa.

I didn't let myself think about it any farther. If I learned anything since meeting Rose it's that sometimes it's good to jump right in.

I left my room and went down the hall to Rose's. It was talking her a long time to answer the door, too long. I tried the door and found it unlocked. A quick check inside confirmed what I already knew. I instantly wanted to hit my head against the wall. Rose may not have her memory, but she was still Rose, always doing something to infuriate me.

Where could she have gone? I left guest housing decided to start searching the upper school. Rose probably wanted to find herself while she was here. There was nothing wrong with that, I just wish she would have told me.

She was nowhere to be found on the quod. Maybe she went into her old dorm, no, she would go somewhere without thinking about it. At a loss, I decided to try the cabin. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping that Rose would be there and she'd remember me. I hadn't been to the cabin in a long time. Not since before I was turned.

I made it to the cabin only to find it empty. I couldn't help myself from remembering the night Rose and I spent together here. Surely if Rose saw the cabin again she'd remember. She wasn't here however, I would have to find her.

The school suddenly seemed miles away as I started back.

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><p><em>Rose<em>

I was well away from the buildings at this point, and I still didn't know where I was going. I spotted something up ahead, it looked like part of an old fence. When I made my way to it I could see that the wood was old and weathered.

The strange thing about this part of fence is that looking at it made anger churn in my chest. I was so angry. This wasn't normal anger, it was darker, deeper.

Jesse. I was angry with Jesse. He hurt Lissa, tortured her, right here. He had tortured others too, forcing them to compel him to stop. He was the reason the strigoi got in to the school. He's the reason so many people died, why Dimitri was taken from me. He had to pay for what he did, and I was going to make him pay.

But Jesse wasn't here. I was alone with the fence. My fist clenched and before I could control myself I struck out and hit the fence. I hit it again, and again.

"Rose," I heard Dimitri come up, but that didn't stop me from hitting the fence. "Rose, stop." Dimitri's hands were on my shoulders and he was pulling me back. I tried to fight him but he was strong. "What are you doing?"

"He has to pay," I struggled to free my arms from his iron grip, but only resulted in him holding me tighter.

"Who?" Dimitri looked confused and worried.

"Jesse," I spat his name out. "He has to pay for everything. It's all his fault. He hurt Lissa and let the strigoi in." Dimitri froze and I turned to see his eyes had widened. Why was this a shock to him? He was there. "They took you away from me, I have to make Jesse pay."

"Rose," I struggled to get free. "Roza, you have to fight this, it's the darkness making you think like this."

"It is not! This is me." I almost managed to get free, but Dimitri caught me and held me tighter.

"Roza, I'm here. I'm alive and Lissa is safe. Look." I looked at him. He wasn't strigoi. He was Dimitri, my Dimitri.

As I looked into his eyes, the anger faded. Dimitri sensed the change in me and loosened his hold on me. I instantly rested my head on his chest.

"What was that," I asked him weakly as he smoothed my hair.

"That was the darkness," His voice was comforting, like balm to my anger. We stood like that for a while, not saying anything. I listened to his breathing.

"I remembered something," It was almost a whisper as I said it, but I knew Dimitri heard it. I leaned back to look at him and found tenderness in his brown eyes.

"Yes Roza, you did."

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><p><strong>I know I promised a fight, and there wasn't exactly a fight in this chapter, but I hope some of Rose's memory was worth it and you wont be too upset with me.<strong>

**Thanks for reading and please review!**


	9. Chapter 8

**_I am extremely sorry for such a long break between chapters. Life got in the way of writing for a while, but now everyhting is better and I hope to be aable to keep updating regularly. A big THANK YOU to everyone who has reviewed so far, and especially to those who have revied recently, because you were what pushed me to get back on top of this story._**

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><p><em>Rose<em>

"What did you remember?" Lissa practically jumped from her seat with excitement. It took a lot of effort not to let the bond pull me into her head. I glanced at Dimitri and he gave a slight nod of his head.

"I remembered Jesse torturing you," I told her and everyone else. This brief memory opened up so many doors in my head but I still couldn't reach anything past it. "I remembered that it was his fault the wards were weak and the strigoi attacked the school." My words hung in the air of the room. Everyone clearly remembered what I was talking about and it showed on their faces.

"How did it happen?" Adrian clarified, "The memory."

I tried to remember what brought the memory up, "I found a part of an old fence and I got angry." I glance at the faces around me. All of them in deep thought.

"A fence made you angry?" Christian asked in a sarcastic tone and I ignored his comment, but only because I it was true, I had gotten angry looking at the fence

"It was the darkness," Dimitri said. "It makes sense, Lissa used a lot of spirit bringing Rose back, Rose must have taken it away without knowing it."

I felt the guilt wash over Lissa as she realized that the darkness had leaked to me. I couldn't bare her feeling guilty for no reason, so I reached out and took her hand. I might not remember anything else yet, but I remembered fighting for her safety. "Liss, I don't blame you, it's the least I can do since you saved me again." She gave me a sad smile but I knew the guilt was only quelled for a little while.

"This is good right?" Jill said from where she stood next to Eddie. "This means that your memories will come back on their own." I glanced at her. She had a very innocent look to her. It's hard to believe that she died too.

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><p><em>Dimitri<em>

Maybe Jill is right and Rose's memory will come back on its own, but what if it doesn't? I don't know what I would do without her.

I shouldn't think like that. She remembered something. The pieces will probably fall right into place soon and everything will go back to normal.

"You two need to change if we're going to keep up the appearance that nothing is wrong." Eddie interrupted my thoughts. It was true, Rose and I were still not dressed for the dinner. Rose and I left the others to change.

"If we're going to keep up this charade, you should learn how to guard Lissa." I decided to pass off my earlier idea as Rose needing to be able to protect Lissa. It would be easier if she wasn't worried about remembering and she really does need to be able to protect Lissa.

I glanced at Rose out of the corner of my eye. She looked as if she was thinking along the same lines as I was. I bet that after remembering someone torturing Lissa, Rose will want to make sure that never happens again.

"Okay," Rose replied.

"But first we've got to go to the dinner." We were standing outside Rose's door. I wish that I could hold her again. Ever since I held her by the broken fence, my arms have ached to have her back. "Wear your hair up."

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><p><em>Rose<em>

"Wear your hair up," Dimitri told me. There was an intensity in the way he was looking at me, it made something in my chest flutter. It was similar to the last time.

Dimitri headed further down the hallway and I opened the door to my room. When I was inside, I pulled out the black suit and white blouse that Dimitri had said was what Guardians wore to formal events. I changed into it, the fabric clung to the curves of my body perfectly. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, these are my clothes.

I pulled my hair into a bun. I had to admit, I did like the way it looked. Maybe all female Guardians wore their hair up. I noted that with my hair up, the marks on the back of my neck showed. If they counted the number of kills I had, then I guess showing that off was pretty common.

I left my room and headed back to Lissa's room. I stopped outside the door. I had no idea what to expect at this dinner. From the way that everyone else was dressed, it had to be a big deal.

"Rose?" I turned to find Dimitri coming back up the hallway.

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><p><em><strong>I know it was short, but the next chapter will be better. (I'll be writing all day and late into the night)<strong>_

_**Please review!**_


	10. Chapter 9

_**Wow, Thanks for the reviews! I made this chapter longer, so Ihope you guys like it as well.**_

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><p><em>Dimitri<em>

Rose was standing outside Lissa's room. She was in her formal guardian cloths with her hair up. It's hard to keep telling myself that She doesn't remember me, especially at times like this when she seems so much like herself.

"Rose?" I asked as I walked up to her. "What's wrong?" I could hear in my voice that I was hoping she remembered something else.

"I don't know what to expect at this dinner."

"Just do what the other guardians do," I put my hand on her shoulder and she looked up at me with her deep brown eyes. "Being a guardian is instinct to you, I'm sure you'll do fine."

Somehow, what I told her seemed to lighten her mood. It was almost like before. I almost expected her to give me a sarcastic smile. But no such smile came and it felt like someone had stabbed me in the chest.

"Come on, let's go in." I tried my hardest to push the pain away as we went into the room.

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><p><em>Rose<em>

The door opened and the group of us started walking in slowly. I was with three other guardians, who like me had red pins on their collars, and of course Lissa. She looked gorgeous in a silver dress. To me she looked like an angel.

The room was full of people. Some of them were older people, but a majority of them were high school students. I noticed that the dhampirs sat towards the back while the moroi sat in the front of the room. There were guardians standing around the room against the walls and near the doors. All eyes were on my group as we slowly made our way into the room.

As we passed the rows of students all of them went down onto their knees. I had to remind myself that Lissa was the queen, this was a sign of respect.

I resisted the urge to turn around in a circle and look around. This is the schools cafeteria, there is a chance something here could make me remember something else. I would have time to find it later, right now I had to act as if nothing is wrong.

Our group finally made it to the front of the room where a table was set up. Sitting at the table was Jill, Adrian, and Christian. There was an empty seat between Jill and Christian for Lissa. I took my spot against the wall behind her seat. Facing all of these people, even if they were all watching Lissa, was frightening.

Lissa sat down and the whole room did the same, all except the guardians. I did what Dimitri told me to do and did what the other guardians did. I dared a glance in his direction to find that he was watching me.

For the second time today, I felt a flutter in my chest. What was that? What was Dimitri to me? What was I to him? I don't know.

About halfway through the dinner I realized I was being stared at. A short female guardian with curly copper hair at the back of the room was boring a hole into me. I couldn't help but wonder if I was supposed to know her.

Lissa began her speech not too long after that, and all through the speech, the guardian woman stared at me. It took a lot of effort for me not to squirm under her gaze. I couldn't even focus on Lissa's speech, but I could tell by her feelings that it was going well.

The room broke into applause and the female guardian finally looked away. Lissa stood up and the other three guardians and I got into formation. I felt eyes watching me as I passed the rows of students. Now it wasn't just the woman guardian, it was almost everyone I passed. Some people turned and whispered to their friends.

I pretended to ignore them as our group made its way outside. The walk back to the guest rooms seemed a lot longer than it had before.

One of the other guardians mentioned something about seeing me later. Lissa gave me a hug and I could feel through the bond that she thought I did a great job. I didn't want to worry her, besides, the other guardians didn't know about any of this.

I left after they closed the door to her room and went back to my room. I couldn't resist the urge to look behind me to see if anyone was staring. Why had all those people stared at me? Did they notice something wasn't right with me?

I closed the door behind me and leaned against the wall then slid to the floor.

What about that woman? She _knew_. She knew something was wrong with me. But I have no idea if she is important or not. Should I tell the others? Would I just upset them if she were important?

There was a knock on the door. I didn't want to answer it. It would just be someone else I didn't know or that I was hurting. I was hurting everyone by not remembering. I was hurting Lissa and Dimitri the most.

Dimitri. The fluttering in my chest was still confusing to me. If I had feelings for him, did he have feeling for me? Do I have feelings for him? Should I?

There was another knock on the door. I was close to opening the door and yelling at the person to go away.

Before I could do anything, the door opened and in walked Dimitri. He stopped in his tracks when He saw me sitting on the ground.

"Roza," He closed the door and came to kneel down in front of me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I looked away from his intense gaze. I couldn't handle the way my heart reacted to him being this close. It's like I could feel him, even though he wasn't touching me anywhere.

"Rose, I can tell that you're lying," He reached out and tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. My stomach did a flip when he touched me. This felt familiar, like maybe this had happened before. I tried to grasp on to the memory, but it flitted away.

"There was a woman at the dinner," I started slowly. "She kept looking at me. It was like she could tell that there was something wrong with me." I looked back up at Dimitri. His eyes softened when he looked at me. I could tell he wanted to say something and maybe he was about to say it, but I didn't get to find out because there was another knock at the door.

Dimitri stood up with an unbelievable grace and went to the door. I'm not sure who I expected it to be, but I can honestly say I did not expect the woman from the dinner to be at my door.

"Janine," Dimitri had a similar look to the one he had when Adrian brought Abe to us.

"What happened?" The woman, Janine, asked.

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><p><strong><em>Thanks for reading! It's late here, I've been writing all day, and I have to work early tomorrow, so I will hit the hay.<em>**

**_Please review! It makes me happy to get reviews._**


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